You know you want one. Now I’m going to show you how to get one and how to keep him. In this article, I give several tips based on personal experience on how a Filipino can snag an American/European man and make a new life with him.
Look in the right places!
Knowing how to keep a gay foreign daddy is great but I realized my first article didn’t talk enough about how to actually get a good gay daddy in the first place. One of the biggest problems is I see is too many Filipino guys look in the wrong places. They troll around Facebook groups posting messages with their shirt off asking for someone to “love me and accept me for who I am”.
Well, who are you? A gold digger trying to use his body to get money? If you do that then that’s what you’ll be perceived as and I don’t want that for you. I want you to find someone who will actually love & honor you not just send you a few dollars after you’ve had to fap for him on camera 10 times.
If you want to get a guy that is serious then you need to go where the serious guys are and its not just random facebook groups. I recommend dating sites where mature men with good financial means tend to hang out. Christian Mingle is my first choice. Why? Because it tends to cater to men that are older, more mature, and looking for marriage. Plus it’s free to join and see your matches. On Facebook, the guys that will even entertain you most of the time will be older guys with no money and just looking for a young desperate Filipino to make them feel young again.
That’s just a waste of your time & bodily fluids.
Reality: This guy doesn’t need to go abroad to find a boyfriend
The average man that goes to the Philippines for a relationship is going to be mature and established and looking for a man younger than him. Much like this gentlemen.
In order to be successful at dating western men, you need to consider dating someone older and find something attractive about him. It could be his eyes, his ears, his voice, or his mature attitude. If you can’t find something about him that you find attractive then you need to move on. Men are visual creatures. If you aren’t able to find something physically attractive about him then it’ll show. You won’t perform well in bed, you won’t want to be close to him, you just won’t be a good lover overall. Then you’ll be replaced.
Don’t just parrot his interests. An experienced dater will see right through that. Be honest about who you are, your interests, and likes. A relationship based on a lie is no relationship at all.
Being young and skinny isn’t enough
Ah yes, some younger men have this notion that “I’m young and skinny therefore I should be taken care of”. Well, if you want to go that route that’s your business but take a look around you first. Do you see how many young and skinny men there are out there looking for a free ride? The reality is being young and skinny won’t get you more than a hamburger. Keep in mind you’re also competing with young and skinny men in the western man’s home country. So why should he go to the other side the world just for young and skinny you when there’s always someone sexier willing to spread his legs in exchange for a free ride in life? Please don’t approach dating western men with a sense of entitlement because of your age or body. When I was looking for a Filipino partner I received hundreds (yes hundreds) of friend requests and messages from young skinny men looking for someone to take care of them. I rejected them all. Check out the profiles of the western men on facebook and look at how many of them have dozens of Filipino friends.
Date a western man because you want to not because you need to
Let’s keep it real. One of the reasons you’re seeking love abroad is for the opportunity. I knew that when I was looking for a Filipino and I was okay with that. I just didn’t want that to be the only reason my partner was dating me. Western men want guys that want them but don’t need them. If you start off your communication with him telling a sad story about how your father died and implying you need money you’ll turn a decent guy off. The only guys that’ll stick around will be creepers just looking for sex with a young man.
Those are the guys that will just use their passports/wallets as a carrot to get you to put out. Worse still you may get an abusive man that just wants to use his passport/wallet to control you. My partner is a guidance counselor with his own office. He would be just fine without me and that’s part of his appeal.
Speak fluent or near English
If you want to be more than just a ‘fun night for a fee’ you’ve got to speak good English. I realize that formal English classes may be outside of your budget but when there’s a will there’s a way. If you’re in the Philippines then you know someone who speaks good English. Befriend that person, practice whenever you can. It may not be easy but you’ve got to do it.
Notice I said speak not just type. I remember I was talking to a very nice handsome young man from Tacloban City. Everything seemed to be moving in the right direction until we actually spoke. I could barely understand him and it was clear he was guessing at what I was saying. It just went downhill from there. Without a mutual language, there is no communication and without communication, there is no relationship.
Use but don’t abuse your sex appeal
This is a bit tricky. Men will be men and let’s face it sex is on our minds a lot. Part of your appeal is your young skinny body and there’s nothing wrong with that. I freely admit when I was on the market the guys that had nice bodies caught my eye and I paid more attention to them. You’ve just got to use your judgment. If you give up all the goodies too soon you may look like just a sex worker but if you are too old-fashioned he may think you are just trying to play childish games and lose interest.
One tactic I see a lot of guys in the Philippines do is give a show or put out once but then try to extort money/gifts/commitment to get them to do it again. I quickly caught on to that so once they did a video call or had sex with me and I could see they weren’t going to do it again without something in return I just moved on to the next guy.
Be confident, if you decide to have sex and it turns out he doesn’t like you it’s no big deal because you’ve lost nothing. If it truly is within your moral code to withhold sex until a committed relationship exists then stick with that but let him let him know up front. The right guy will respect you more for it.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship its best to be cautious. Some ways to protect yourself are being upfront that you are only interested in a serious relationship and not just a hookup. Look out for warning signs. If he talks about sex in the first conversations and/or always tries to steer the conversation towards sex you’ll know what he’s really after. If he offers to ‘help’ you or your family too soon that’s a bad sign.
In the end, a lot of this is simply trial and error. Just as many western men looking for love may end up being scammed for money many Filipinos looking for love may end up being scammed for sex. Its just a part of life. With these tips, however, you can at least have a guide so you can get past the fluff and get to your goal of finding true love abroad.
Did I miss something? Is there something more about dating western men I should talk about? Let me know in the comments below!