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Gay Men Over 40 Find Paradise in The Philippines

Meet John & Henning

For this blog post I spoke to two gay men over 40 John and Henning. John is an Irish citizen of 60 now residing in the Philippines as a retiree. He says he loves it here. “Other than the cheap cost of living, the friendly people. I asked the obvious question if he’s worried he’s just being used for his money he responded “actually my partner pays most of the bills. It’s unusual I know but that’s how it is”.  Henning is a retired German citizen who decided to spend the rest of his days in the Philippines. “What can I say? It’s more fun in the Philippines” he said with a laugh poking fun at the Philippine tourism board’s slogan. He lives with a 34 year old local in a middle-income neighborhood in Baguio Philippines.

Filipinos Respect Age

When asked what they both liked most about dating in the Philippines they both responded “Filipinos respect age”.  “In Ireland, dating was tough for me. You’re basically invisible once you hit 45 unless you have a shitload of money” responded John. “I am a retired NHS nurse. I’m not rich”. Henning expressed similar sentiments “Before I was nothing but now I’m a God here! I couldn’t keep up with all the messages!”

It’s not all sunshine & lollipops

Both acknowledge that dating in the Philippines isn’t all sunshine and lollipops. “You’ve really gotta make sure you’re thinking with the big head rather than the little one. I’ve seen guys get wiped out by charming straight men,” said  John.  When asked if they were personally worried about scammers they said they weren’t. John said he wasn’t worried because he didn’t go around flashing his passport or money around like some guys.

“A lot of the guys that get scammed here had it coming. They were just twats looking for a little bitch they could fuck every night. They ended up getting fucked. I mean it’s not hard to spot a gold digger…my God a 22-year-old hunk claiming he loves you after one date but the only thing he’ll let you do is to blow him off for 500 pesos?! Hello!”  

Henning concurred. “It’s super easy to spot gold grabbers. He claims to love you quickly but then has some sort of catastrophe that only you can solve with your money.” He told a story of how a young man tried to scam him. “I once had a 25-year kid tell me online his house burned down and he needed cash to rebuild it for his family. The problem was I lived in the same neighborhood as him. He just didn’t know it. I even saw him go inside his house! “Also don’t come here if you’re a  bottom size queen !” he exclaimed laughing.

The Philippines is not for everyone

Both men acknowledged that dating abroad isn’t for everyone though. Issues such as cultural conflicts and lack of self-discipline were both cited as to why some people may not want to try their luck abroad. “You’ve gotta take your time if you want to be successful here,” John said. “Sin is cheap here”  He said he’s seen so many guys wanting quick love when it just doesn’t work that way.  “Keep your head out of the clouds you’ll be fine here”.

If you’re over 40 you can find love here

Finally, I asked them about their current relationships. Both stated they were very happy. “Its more than the fact that he’s hot. He’s smart and is actually into me! That makes a world of difference” said John about his partner. According to Henning “My Filipino is the best thing that ever happened to me. For the first time in my life, I had a young man spoil me. He cooks and cleans and most of all he loves me”.

Of course, the Philippines isn’t the only destination for gay expats. Thailand is still the country of choice for many gay travelers to SE Asia. However, as prices in Thailand continue to rise more and more queer folk are heading to the Philippines.  Many say the Filipino men are better looking than Thais. Others cite the fact that over 2/3 of the population speaks English as a reason to come here over Thailand.

John and Henning have been with their partners for 2 & 4 years respectively.


At the end of our talk, John sent me more photos of local guys in his area. He also said to make sure you bring your own anal douche as they can be difficult to find in the Philippines; especially if you live in the province.  I guess he wanted to make his point why coming to the Philippines was worth it! These are the ones suitable for a pg-13 website…



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