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Dating a Pinoy-The Proper Way

Since gay marriage is new to the United States and most of Europe the idea of gay dating and marrying internationally is also new. That doesn’t mean, however, that you need to go into it blind and make many of the same mistakes I did when I started looking for a Filipino partner. That’s why we’re writing this article. These are tips I wish I had when I was dating pinoys internationally.

Respect
This is first and foremost. Many western men come to the Philippines for physical pleasures and unwittingly associate all Filipinos with those in that industry. Nothing could be further from the truth. While a sex worker will be okay with direct and blunt conversation a regular Filipino won’t be pleased with being treated this way. In other words you have to court him. Dating internationally doesn’t absolve one of the normal courtship process that should take place for a proper, committed, and most importantly long lasting relationship to occur. Let me be clear by courting I don’t mean giving him money. Instead of paying cash pay attention to him. Show him genuine interest in his personality and his likes/dislikes, not just his youth and having a trophy. Bottom line if you see him as a trophy then he’ll just see you as a sugar daddy. Why Younger Men Like Older Men

Honesty
The Filipinos on this website are looking for genuine serious relationships with foreign men. It is nothing less than uncouth to lead someone on if that’s not what you’re looking for. It’s not wrong to be honest. If you’re just looking for a pretend boyfriend while on vacation be truthful about that. We also advise to be upfront on what you are looking for in a partner. When I was in the dating market I was looking for a male with traditional ‘wife like’ characteristics. I wanted someone who would have dinner ready for me when I came home from a hard days work. In exchange I would make sure all of his needs were met such as making sure he had a roof over his head and plenty of food to eat. I also wanted someone that was educated, demonstrated an ability to think outside of the box, and engage in interesting conversation. He also had to be petite and thin. It’s important to be upfront so no one’s time (including yours) is wasted.

Patience
Remember you are dating someone from a totally different culture. Just because many Filipinos speak English it doesn’t mean they are of the same culture. Things that just come naturally to you may not be so intuitive to them. One thing I learned is that while very kind and genuinely friendly once they feel slighted Filipinos tend to hold grudges. They also remind you later after you’ve already forgotten.

Caution
On GID we make every reasonable effort to weed out scammer profiles–this is why we don’t allow shirtless photos for example–but there’s no way to get them all. When dating internationally romance scamming is just a fact of life to contend with. Make that when dating period. The good news is there are ways to deal with it and protect yourself. The first is so obvious but its never heeded. Don’t send money. It’s easier said than done. I sent money to my partner but he never asked for nor implied he needed it. I just wanted to help him out we also knew each other for nearly a year before I gave him a single peso. Most Americans feel the same way. The problem is before you know it you could end up supporting a guy’s entire family while they’re laughing at you. I’m not saying treat all Filipinos with suspicion I’m just saying be cautiously optimistic. If he’s claiming love on the first/second chat you’ve got a problem. If once you’re together getting him to be intimate with you is like pulling teeth then you’ve got a problem. If he claims he’s in love but just doesn’t do things that a person in love should be doing such as calling/messaging you often or enjoy your presence then you’ve got a problem.

To summarize we hope these tips I have given you help you on your journey toward love. Just remember your partner is out there you just have to broaden your horizons.

Did we leave anything out? If so leave your tips in the comments below. We’d love to hear from both Filipinos and non-Filipinos on this.

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