Many guys in The Philippines are interested in communicating with foreign gay daddies but, unfortunately, they don’t do it the right way. The way you begin communication will dictate how the relationship will progress or end.
The wrong way to message a gay daddy
When Filipinos send me a message I usually get a variation of the same one-liner that I’ve heard 1,000 times.
Hey there. I’m looking for a serious relationship
Hi, I’m Jhon and I’m looking for a nice man that will love me and accept me for who I am
Can you help me find a foreigner that will love me forever?
These are all terrible ways to approach a foreigner if you expect anything real to come out of it. Why? Because as I mentioned before I’ve heard those lines 1,000 times before but more so because it doesn’t break the ice. The first message is often called the icebreaker because it’s meant to break the ‘ice’ of two strangers
Beginning a conversation with what you want is not a good way to begin a relationship. Think about it, if a random guy approached you in SM and told you what he wanted how would you feel? Most likely you don’t care what he wants since you don’t know him. That’s the same that we foreigners feel when someone from The Philippines approaches us talking about what they want.
The Right Way to Begin Communicating
The right way to approach a foreigner is the same way you would approach a fellow Filipino. By trying to find commonalities. In real life, you have to probe to find out if you have something in common. What’s so wonderful about online dating is that most of the information about the person you’re trying to communicate with is right in front of you! You just have to take the time to look.
It’s also important that you put effort into your first message. I am not handsome at all yet I receive 5-10 messages a day from guys interested in dating me. I can only imagine how many messages a handsome foreigner receives. Taking the time to write a decent message will really help you to stand out from the crowd.
Here is one of the best messages I’ve received from a guy to date:
Hi *** ,
Philippinesbut now imhere in CaymanIslands for work . Honestly imlooking for a right person to complet emy life ..I donthave any qualifications as long as he just acceptme as iam ,andcan be my long term and forever partner..I know that there’s a perception that when a Filipino lookfor a white partner it involves money ..But not in my case ,need love and if i ineed money ican find it for myself because ican work and imworking ..I don’t want head games ..I used to be an independentsince my younger years uptonow .a Im bread winnerand iknow exactly how to value hard earned money and family values.. Im
Looking for a true and real relationship,
imfond of cooking ,mountainhikes ,photographyand imsure ima loving and caring person ..I dontwanna post on the page looking or search because imashame and shy
The interesting thing is this guy wasn’t actually my type and I wouldn’t have bothered to even reply had it not been for the fact that he took the time to send a decent message–despite the grammatical errors.
Honesty is Truly The Best Policy
All of our mothers told us that honesty is the best policy and when it comes to dating that truly is the case. I had a guy message me and tell me upfront that he was looking for someone to take care of him. It was such a relief from all the disingenuous declarations of love that I receive on a daily basis that I entertained him. The only reason we’re not together is that we just didn’t have enough in common.
It’s not just me that feels this way. Here is what a straight man who married a Filipina and brought her back to the United States had to say:
Before I met my Filipina wife in the Philippines, I was warned by many of my coworkers and relatives about Filipinas who took advantage of American men. I am generous by nature and did not think that this would ever happen to me if I relied on my gut instincts. I must add that I have the resources to take care of my wife and her family and gladly do so today. [emphasis mine] One thing that impressed me is that I personally could not imagine how people can survive on so little food and are happy with even the most austere accommodations.
It still shocks me to this day (four years later), so taking care of her family has not been burdensome at all. [emphasis mine] Also, Filipinos are a respectful, resourceful and generally very happy people. However, not all Filipinas are like my wife who happens to be very frank, confident, honest, [emphasis mine] resourceful, hardworking, doting with respect to her family and myself, and always cheerful. She also happens to be the smartest person I have ever known.Quora Answer
Declaring love right away only works on the truly gullible; and those guys probably don’t have the resources to help you in any significant way.
Communicate What You Can Contribute to The Relationship
Jomar was 18 and his boyfriend was a 45-year-old Dutchman. The Dutchman took him many places including Baguio, Palawan Island, and Bohol, and they traveled together quite often. During their trips Jomar would unpack and repack the bags when they went to a hotel and he also cooked the meals. After each trip, the Dutchman gave him a good amount of money just to help him out with his studies. Jomar is now 27 and acknowledges it wasn’t a real relationship but more so friends with benefits and they both benefited. 😉
Nobody, foreigner nor Filipino, wants to feel like they’re being used or taken advantage of. Some guys think their youth and physical form is sufficient to justify a vast amount of resources being spent on them. Sorry Sam but that’s not true. 99.9% of foreign men want a Filipino that understands a relationship is give and take. Not just one give and the other take.
It’s probably not your intention to just use somebody but you need to communicate that to him. When I say communicate I don’t just mean with your words but with your actions. We, foreigners, look for signs of entitlement when dating. That being said if we see a guy in The Philippine wants to contribute to the relationship and not just with his body, then most of us have absolutely no problem taking care of him and helping him out from time to time.
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